A Time To Reflect

charukesi December 28th, 2005

My mother in law has three sisters and they were all down here in Kakinada last week. And the house was resounding with the noise of aunt calling out to aunt like mastodons across the primeval swamp. I have many aunts myself, my mother’s and my father’s sisters. But never before have I had a need to sympathise with Bertie Wooster who quakes in his shoes at the thought of his aunt who eats broken bottles and conducts sacrifices at the time of the full moon. Or with Lord Emsworth and his gaggle of redoubtable sisters who run his life, and his infamous younger son, numerous nephews and nieces who are forever at the receiving end of their sharp tongues and scorching glances…

(dictionary: mastodon = extinct large elephant-like mammal)

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I also met Kamala and Vimala, my mother-in-law’s aunts (no, not the mastodons, they are my husband’s). Twins, more than 70, they are both single (they never married, thanks to family problems at that time) and are deeply attached to each other. They live in the same small town they were born in, although it really is no more than a large village.

Determined not to be a burden on anyone, the sisters learnt sewing at a young age, got themselves Usha sewing machines many many years ago and have been making a living giving sewing classes to young girls (no young boys there, I am sure)… Fiercely independent women, their life story is at the same time a story of courage and despair…

They have told everyone in the family, if one of us dies, the other will consume poison and die immeditely… They know of no other life…

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charukesi December 28th, 2005

Remember Aruna? She is now working in a small computer centre in Hyderabad. The salary from her first job, Rs.5000 per month is more than anyone in her family has ever earned… Her mother Sai cannot stop beaming… This time when I met Aruna at my in-laws’ place, there is a sense of confidence about her that I have not seen before… She answered me in English when I asked about her job; I am looking for a better job, she says at this job, she is also learning while teaching…

Aruna is optimistic about her future… I try to be, but I am sometimes plagued with doubts… She has been trying for a job for many months now and has taken this up as a some-job-better-than-no-job-at-all. When will she get that elusive break? And the question of her marriage… She is a smart well educated young woman and I hope will find a good job given time… Will she find someone who will see her for what she is, and not what her family is, or what her mother does for a living?

I hope for the sake of Aruna and all others like her and her mother who see education as the way out that she finds her place under the sun very soon…

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charukesi December 25th, 2005

Visitors at home look at my husband with pity, oh, you are in Bombay? You are not in the US? Worse - you are not in software…? And smile that disbelieving, even patronizing smile when he says he never wanted to live in the US. (Yes, of course, sour grapes and non software jobs - we know all about it). And they ask me to explain what my job is - I smile and tell them software. They return my smile, the relief, the comfort on their faces is palpable… My husband stares at me while I trade secret smiles with the visitors…

As they leave, I can hear them whispering to my mother in law, you are lucky your children do not live abroad… They can come to your side immediately whenever you want… It is three years since I saw my son… I don’t think sour grapes then, I can only feel sorry for them because I know that they are the ones who have forced their sons to go abroad in the first place…

The marriage market in this region is well organized, with clear structures and hierarches,and well defined money exchanges depending on the “level” of the bridegroom and his family. I am told that the software+US combination commands the highest price, I understand the earlier conversations better…

We are discussing an uncle’s hunt for a match for his son and his attempts to find something “online”. An aunt mentions that there is a tatkal scheme now available for parents seeking “immeidate alliances” for their children… For those “boys” who come from the US with a limited period of leave and with the intention of getting married in that time…

I can only think, such marriages can only be tatkal too… easy come easy go…

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charukesi December 25th, 2005

I finally reached Vishakapatnam after a long and uncomfortable flight. The man whose seat in the front row I had requested for glaring at me as he passes by in the aisle. The man next to me reading “The Power of Now” all the way through - at the “entering the now” chapter, suddenly closing the book and his eyes and going into deep breathing mode - short sharp loud breaths. Enough to frighten any small children who may be lurking… Not the ideal companion on a flight where you are seeking silence…

The announcements of the flight attendants - ab farsh pe lagey battiyan dheemi kar di jaayengi… and later on landing, agar aapko kisi prakar ki sahayata ki zaroorat padey to kripaya hamare vaanijya karmachariyon se sampark karein… huh? I had written about the schizophrenic nature of Tamil… I guess all languages acquire a schizophrenic slant in their time and place…

At Vizag, the car waiting to take me to Kakinada… I get into the front seat so I can stretch my legs out and fumble for the seat belt… The driver smiles at meand shakes his head - and tells someone else in telugu (which he believes I do not understand) - these Bombay people, they have such strange ideas… And the next morning, I open the Indian Express and see the Chief Minister YRR’s smiling face on the front page - CM in the hot seat, says the caption; the photograph is of the CM inside a car wearing his seat belt, appealing to everyone to follow the rule…

A drive of nearly three hours to Kakinada we pass theough small villages. Villages like those elsewhere in India, except maybe more prosperous - children shouting and playing on the streets, tractors and bullock carts carrying huge bales of hay, the women outside the homes preparing food for the night, old men sitting in groups and talking - and staring through eyes glazed with cataract as our car passes… The one thing I notice is the statue in the middle of each village - not the emaciated figure of Mohandas Gandhi that is seen in villages across the country, but that of Dr. Ambedkar… These statues, short and blue suited, having lent their heads for passing crows and pigeons to relieve themselves over decades, stand as silent witnesses to the social and political struggles this region has seen…

Finally home… a strange uncomfortable peace has settled in by the time I reach. Everyone has had time to get used to it, if ever one can get used to someone’s death… Life goes on…

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charukesi December 19th, 2005

In the last few weeks, bound to my wheelchair, which also happens to be my computer chair, I have put together some photographs and travel memories. For, Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quiestest chambers. The mind can never break off from the journey — Pat Conroy

Check them out at Itchy Feet. Comments welcome…

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charukesi December 19th, 2005

Stitches off foot after hurried trip to the hospital. Bags packed and waiting all morning for the flight ticket to be confirmed. I had bid online through India Times three days ago - choosing online reservation for the convenience of not having to move anywhere out of my chair…

Three and a half days, eighteen phone calls to the Air Sahara help line - please wait for another 12 hours, and I have placed your name on record, madam, equal number of calls to India Times in Gurgaon - your call is being forwarded to a voice mail. bleep, 3 emails to the airline and the site and no response. And this morning, a curt response from the airline - but there is no booking in your name. On the India Times site, there is a booking order, and a booking confirmation with the message PNR not yet generated. And the airline throwing its hands up - there are no tickets available for tomorrow…

So here I am, with my travel postponed… at a time when I must be with my family, want to be with my fmily…

And seething at the fact that no one has accepted responsibility for this - the airline directs me to the auction site, which safely does not respond to customer calls, either over the phone or email.

Yes, I know about the free market and all that, but give me Indian Airlines any day. Atleast I have no expectations of service from them…

Does anyone know where and to whom I can complain about this… After all this, I was forced to go out today and walk into an ATM to pick up money and then book a later flight through my travel agent…

I was reading Dilip’s blog and came across back to the future… MTNL, Indian Airlines, whatever. Which is not to say that Indian Airlines rocks, but that private airlines and cheap fare providers don’t either…

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charukesi December 17th, 2005

My father in law passed away today… My operation stitches are coming out on Monday, and I am off to their place immediately after that. Till then, I can only sit here with my thoughts and prayers - for the rest of the family… See you all here when I get back, after the new year.

I want to leave you with this remarkable story - Mishap victim gifts life to 3. The 21 year old boy who had met with an accident was declared brain dead on arrival at the hospital. And his parents, in all their grief donated his organs to others, giving them the gift of life. The ToI reports that they sum up their deed thus - The lives of great men all remind us/That we can make our lives sublime/And departing leave behind/footprints on the sands of time.

Tough decisions, brave decisions…

Reminder for me and you to pledge our eyes/organs… Have only been thinking about it so far; good intentions, no action.. maybe a good way to begin the new year…?

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charukesi December 15th, 2005

What a day it has been… we woke up with a call from my in laws’ place. My father in law has had a cerebral haemorrhage and is in hospital in a critical condition. And my husband has taken the first available evening flight out - and then an overnight train journey before he can reach home… And calls from friends and relatives every half hour, urging him to hurry…

Both my feet still in bandage; I packed a bag for him and dropped it at the airport… did not get off the car…

Made me think of all the “NRI children”… how do parents cope in emergencies with their children so far away, living where home is not just a short flight or a train journey away? And how do children cope with the anxiety… not knowing what is happening back home… with the guilt of not being near at hand when parents need them…?

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An accident case next to me in hospital this morning when I went to get the dressing changed on my operated foot… head injury… two wheeler, no helmet? Concerned colleagues with their badges waiting outside the emergency room. And a young woman standing next to his bed and weeping silently… Startled, when the attendant who has been filling out the forms suddenly asked for her signature. Bewildered, not ready for this… The attendant waits for a few seconds and again points out to her the blank space where her signature is required… The policeman is waiting outside the room…

I kept looking at her as the nurse cleaned my wound and bandaged my foot… What does one tell her?

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I noticed four ambulances on my to the airport earlier in the evening. (Is this an unusually bad day or am I just noticing them because of the state I was in?) Caught in the traffic. Most vehicles hearing but not paying attention to the blaring sirens. Or the stranger stretched out inside the van, or the anxious others sitting by… Some vehicles concerned but without any space to make way for the emergency vehicle… Bombay traffic… How does an ambulance squeeze through…?

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charukesi December 13th, 2005

India Shining. India and China and emerging markets. India all set to take its rightful place on the global scene. And so on…

Brandchannel writes about the Interbrand / businessweek survey of top 100 global brands for this year and points out that there is no single Indian brand in that list. Where are Indian brands on the global stage?

Specifically, their question is - how is it that the fastest growing free market democracy hasn’t produced a global brand to rank among the top 100 of the world?

They have a discussion forum open and you can read other comments and contribute your own thoughts here.

I have been thinking about this - are there any Indian brands that can be called truly global? Or have the stature to become big in the global scene?

I can only think of local brands which have been so popular that they have acted as props for MNC brands which have entered the market - Thums Up, for instance. And of MNC brands which have been around for so long and have indianised themselves so much that they are believed to be local, Lux and Bata, for instance.

As for brands strong enough to be featured in a global list, I cannot think of any. Are our car manufacturers ready? Will Tata make it with their recent exports thrust and their budget car plans?

Or is this because this list is of products and not services - is Infosys for instance a global brand? Is technology / software a product that can be mesured and included in such surveys?

What do you think? Are there any Indian-global brands that come to your mind?

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charukesi December 12th, 2005

Students fear AIDS could spreads through kissing, says report in todays’ ToI. While students were generally found to be knowledgeable about HIV/AIDS, the survey found they had misconceptions about transmission. A large number of believed that kissing (40%), hugging (29.7%) and sharing of clothes (25.4%) caused viral transmission. A shocking 45.1% thought that mosquito bites could cause transmission.

Here is more - Sharing of toilets and eating out with HIV-infected persons was an issue with the students with up to 25.4% saying that it could cause viral transmission.

This from a survey conducted by the Wockhardt-Harvard Medical International HIV/AIDS Education and Research Foundation (WHARF) based on interviews with 1,179 junior college boys and girls. If this is the knowledge level about transmission of AIDS among the young who are the main target group for this disease - global figures indicate that 50 percent of persons infected every year are below 25 years of age… Makes me wonder about the effectiveness of AIDS and HIV related communication campaigns that we see all the time.

Scary…

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I tried looking for the link to this article on the ToI website but couldn’t find it - I have copied this from their epaper. However, I did find this on their home page - Urmila Matondkar at the Dubai International Film Festival. Oh, and this too - Big B watches Ek Ajnabee in hospital. Why am I not surprised? Surely, Urmila Matondkar makes for better copy than a bunch of ignorant students.

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