A Time To Reflect

charukesi March 9th, 2006

When you have nothing to say, link it. Even better, cross-post. (In less polite circles, also known as ctrlC-ctrlV, but I did say ‘Windows by Microsoft?’ - if you have read this already, apologies, just read it once more). Just writing of all that food has me down with food poisoning (not kidding). So here is some Rajasthan travel from the recent past… I was talking to Uma who has just returned from Jaipur; this one is for you, Uma…

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A structure made entirely with windows, in fact, built only for the purpose of being a window to the world. For the royal women of Jaipur who used to stand behind the numerous windows at Hawa Mahal

Hawa Mahal, the palace of winds, not just due to the gentle breeze of the evening that the royal women must have felt caressing their faces after the stifling desert heat of the day… Hawa Mahal, not just the palace of winds but a castle in the air… The story being that the foundation of this huge building is just one foot deep but supports five storeys…

A five storeyed structure, Hawa Mahal is not really a palace, but merely a facade; there is nothing inside it. Except level after level of narrow corridor over which the royal women used to be carried on palanquins, intricately carved pillars and windows and more windows than they could have ever looked out of… 953 windows in all, has anyone counted…?

And a structure that tapers towards the top, the entire shape representing the crown on the head of Lord Krishna… This is in keeping with the other depictions in Rajsthan of scenes from the life of Krishna and Radha - frescos, murals, paintings…

Which is why you enter the mahal not from the front, but from the back… And make your way towards the front. Walking ahead, if you turn around, you see just beyond the mahal Jantar Mantar, or the observatory built by Sawai Man Singh and considered a scientific marvel for is times. And from the top, you get views of the Jaigarh and Nahargarh forts in the distance…

You hear from the guide about the place where the women played and prayed. You hear about the angle of the mahal that is such that people inside could see out but not vice versa…
You hear about the secret passage that connects the mahal to the city palace, so the queens could make their way to their viewpoint without being seen by the outside world…

At each level, you stop and stare out of the windows and try to imagine what the women saw in those days. Certainly not this…

And you wonder about notions of privilege and modernity; did the royal women like to be pampered and cosseted and sheltered so? Did they have a choice, or did they even think about it? I once had an interesting discussion with some friends at flickr on this… have a look at this and do tell me what your thoughts on this are…

• Pot-pourri , - Cities and places
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charukesi March 6th, 2006

Blank Noise has the blog-a-thon 2006 going, inviting stories and thoughts from people about the problem of street harassment. People, because men need to speak out on this as much as women do.

I was waiting to attend the Blank Noise meet in Bombay before I posted on this. Some thoughts from there. The idea behind Blank Noise is to raise awareness among people that we need to Say NO to street harrassment, it is not okay to harass or be harassed, even in the name of fun. It is not okay to encroach upon a woman’s personal space, in the name of checking her out or appreciating beauty. No, it is not okay when the woman feels uncomfortable by this.

So what is harassment? And what is not?

So where do we draw the line and say this is okay and this is not? Start with looking at the innocuous name given to such harassment in India - eve teasing. Uh? teasing? The unemployed Rmeo whistles at the girl, sings lewd songs at her, and in the next scene fades out with the girl and the guy singing lewd songs tgether, declaring their undying love for each other? Nope, Eve and Romeo… doesn’t work that way.

One of the things Blank Noise wants to do first is to understand exactly what constitutes harassment. Please leave your thoughts on this here and spread the word around. Eve teasing to me means *blank*

Activism is such a dirty word?

It is alright to write about it but getting down to the streets where the harassment actually takes place is not so easy for everyone. You do not have to stand in the streets and ask people questions and hand out pamphlets. be your own activist - when you see a woman get harassed, take some action. Show your support in some way. And if you want to be involved in blank noise, please get in touch with Jasmeen right away.

But what can I do about it?

I agree often there isn’t much you can do about it - in a crowded space, it is sometimes difficult to even tell who pinched or groped. But when you do know, then make a scene. Ask him ‘why are you staring a me’? I have tried this and it works. It sends the “teaser” into a tizzy. Shout if in a public place and get the attention of others.

And if you feel physically feel violated in any way, first get this clear - you are not responsible for it. It is not about the way you smile or the clothes you are wearing - it is about the fact that you are a woman and you happen to be there. I don’t know if this is supposed to make one feel better or worse, it is not about you - it could have been any woman there and then.

All that I have written, I have faced, and thought about.

And the stories….

As Annie said, karoge yaad toh har baat yaad aayegi. It just needs one person to start talking about it and then suddenly every woman has her own story to share.

After all these years, I still get disturbed when I think about this - and I do often. Twelve years old and in a crowded temple on a festival way. And a man squeezed my breasts from behind. hard, so hard that I shouted out. But I had nothing to say when my aunt asked me what had ahppened. And I saw the man. I saw him again and again. I saw the leer on his face. And I saw him come towards me a second time, and it happened a second time. And I saw him walk away. And I came home and cried unconsolably.

I am shaking with anger as I write this. What breasts does a twelve year old have, you bastard? I have noticed that I still instinctively cover my chest if I sense a stranger come too close to me, and if I am not wearing a dupatta. And I have not mentioned this to anyone in my life till now.

Walking to class at 16. Passing through a house where four teengae boys sang dirty songs every single day. Till I snapped one day. that night, they came to my house drunk and made a scene infrnt of the gate. Neighbors watching in avid curiosity, and supportive parents who threatened to cal the police. The next morning, my dad and I went to the house; the boy’s father as a well known physiotherapist, and compalined about him. The boy’s mother advised my dad to keep his girl under control. They did not sing from the next day, but I didn’t feel good about that “victory”…

And then driving classes at 19. And the scent of the male instructor as he leaned over my neck teaching me to reverse the car. That nauseous smell of coconut oil, mixed with sweat and what, lust? I snapped at him after three days and demanded a woman instructor. And he failed me in my preliminary driving test before going to the RTO. I don’t drive to this day.

Related : my earlier post on Being a female body

Technorati tag: Blogathon 2006

• - Gender issues
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charukesi March 3rd, 2006

The debate on comments in blogs is never-ending. Me personally, commento ergo bloggum (Latin makes me sound so cool - and clueless)… Which roughly means, I keep blogging because you in your nice and naive way keep leaving comments, thereby egging me on. You may or may not have noticed but I need little encouragement to go on and on. Anyway, I am all in agreement with this old jungle saying - “For all sad words of pen, tongue or keyboard, the saddest are these: 0 comments” (very wise words for an anonymous blogger except I am not admitting here I think he is wise).

Comments or no comments, it is never easy. Turn off your comments (it is your blog afer all) and you will have the readers up on their hind legs baying for your blood. And all this advice about what makes a blog a blog from perfect strangers. Trust your fellow men - or women or aliens from outer space - to be normal and polite and leave your comments section open. And you are asking for trouble. The world’s unheard voices pipe up as one voice on your comments section with gems ranging from the mildly rebuking you have no clue what you are talking about, you numb-skulled moron, to the nasty personal, I know your dad used to eat fourteen dodo eggs for breakfast every day, so don’t get all sanctimonious about the bird flu kinds.

And if you are still reading this, you will be familiar with the other kind of commentor. No, not the overwhelmingly nice stranger who says I love your blog. Very interesting site. Please visit my site on teenage acne sex or tries to sell extremely intresting and useful products such as penis enlargement pills to you on your blog. No, not those.

I mean those commentors who leave completely irrelevant and touching comments on your blog based on one quick word they caught in your entire page long post. Much like google ads which say, “reads” my rant against the fairness creams market and promptly puts up ads for fariness products right on top of my blog, thus destroying any little credibility I may have among readers.

Comments which scream out - I am a nutcase, laugh at me. I find myself loaded wth these especially when I write on education or employment (or what can be loosely construed as employment related posts) - then I find that I have suddenly turned into an agony-aunt-meets-financial-shark types blogger and people are writing in asking for advice on finding similar jobs or admission to such courses.

For instance, recently Eien Nunez wrote to me, I am interesting in having a business in Spain Barcelona selling doctorate degrees to people it would be posible to do business with you? if so, how much the degrees will cost me, time of delivery, also any delivery charges?
Could you send me the different degrees you have available a pic of some of them will help to show people what they will get.

And why? Because I had written about this kind stranger from the yonder who had written to me offering genuine degrees for sale.

Alright Eien, I am interesting in having business in Spain too, degree or no degree. Heck, I am interesting anyways, Spain or no Spain. And no, I don’t have pictures of the different degrees I have - they are the shy and retiring types and prefer not to be photographed.

And then the one about outsourcing tuition from India - Hello, I am a post graduate in chemistry. i have excellant communication skill with knowledge of computers.I wish to give on line tuitions for the students. Can you please whom to contact for the assignment.

To be fair, he only said his communication skill was excellant not his English. But I never know what to do with such comments. So I keep them and think about poor Satya who writes regularly about education and receives such notes all the time… Check this out if you don’t believe me…No really, check it out.

Have you been on the receiving end of crank comments (not the nasty ones). Then please share them here.

Let us all be interesting together…

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update : birth of a coconut : and just for the record, I can’t decide which I enjoyed more - Vik’s post on the abnormal coconuts and goats of tamilnadu. Or this comment “the goat was born like thatt .. and the coconut was also born the same way”. Or Vik’s response to that - “Also, thanks for your insights that the animals were born that way”.

• The World of Indsight
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