Archive for the 'Pot-pourri' Category

Childhood memories of everyday commerce

charukesi July 19th, 2007

This was when I used to live in London as a student. Came summer, at 3 every afternoon I use to hear a tinkling jingling bell passing my window. That, I learnt much later, when I actually stepped out to see what it was, was the ice-cream van. Now the ice-cream van was the only thing I ever saw in the UK which came to where you lived. Unlike what one is used to in India (a I never tire of reminding my friends who live abroad) where everything comes home.

Not so much any longer though. Now I shut the door after my husband leaves for work; my maid is just leaving or has already left. And there is no one who rings the bell, almost no one who does it everyday at a particular time. I live in an apartment; the security guy keeps the vendors away and calls me from the gate to see if I do want to see any other visitor who may have dropped by.

Not like when I was growing up in Madras. Not in a match-boxy apartment, mind you, a sprawling house in a quiet tree-lined street deep inside the heart of Adyar. (we never found it easy to call it a bungalow, somehow it was only a house, it never measure up to our idea of a bungalow - when I describe it to my friends now, I always gesticulate with my hands to show two stories - palms facing down one slightly above the other). The day was one vendor after the other - and it surprised me now how I remember each of them by their sounds… even though I cannot remember any of the faces.

The tinkling jingling thingy then was the sonpapdi man - with his huge bell jar full of wispy, melt-in-the-mouth, come-find-heaven sonpapdi wrapped in a newspaper cone. And to off-set that lingering sweetness was the peanut vendor, his long flat spatula going clang clang against the large rusty (I know it now, who cared then!) kadhai on top of heated sand… And completely forbidden, the Joy ice-cream vendor with his kucchi ice (ice-cream on a stick) the thought of which makes me sick now. And made me yearn for when I was young. Especially since it was forbidden; who wants “good ice-cream from a shop”? bah! I want this white paal-ice (”milk” ice-cream).

Then there were the others I didn’t take such a personal interest in but found fascinating nevertheless. The knife-sharpener, for some reason called the saanai pidikkaravan (I have no idea what this means) with his large wheel what acted as whetting stone; nothing was use-and-throw then - those were the days of resharpened knifes and aruvamanai (which is an implement very difficult to describe - rounded knife, almost like a scythe, fixed to a wooden base - I used to astonished at the speed with which my grandmother, and to a lesser extent my mother, chopped all kinds of vegetables on it).

And in the early mornings also came around my own personal bogey-man, the cobbler. Now the cobbler was not in any way hideous or particularly frightful; his sales cry was jodi-repair (repair the pair - as I figured out much later) which when he uttered as his drawn-out booming cry sounded to my ears like jadi-peyi - roughly translated means, a ghost inside a jar.

The keeraikkaran in the mornings with his range of green leafy vegetables tied on either side of his bicycle. So utterly dependable I remember my mother putting the dal to be cooked on the stove and then waiting for him to turn up, so she could add the keerai to the cooked dal just in time for the dabba.

And the lovely old lady with her huge basket carried on the head on top of an old towel rolled as head support. If the keerai man was our morning supplier, she came by only in the late afternoons. Straight from the whole-sale market, she would insist. She practised all her English on me; all of seven, I was very impressed and we had several interesting conversations, I learning from her as much as she did from me (if she did, at all). Tender snake gourd, baby, tell grandmother. Stern grandmother of course never bought any of this tenderness and drove a hard bargain; baby in the meanwhile, too ashamed to admit she did not know what a snake gourd was, waiting till amma came home from work - amma, what is a snake gourd?

There were also once-a-month visitor visitors; the old newspaper and plastic buyer; my grandmother used to clean and save old milk bags till one day, after many many years of trying to stop her, my mother put her foot down firmly on this. And then the champion of all commerce - the paathirakaaran - the man who bought old clothes and gave in exchange a shining new but very small utensil. I suspect this was the chief source of entertainment for my grandmother and she used to await his arrival eagerly. Are there no clothes to throw away, she used to keep asking my mother. This is too small, I have given you so many clothes, give me that cup also. And the vendor - ayyo amma, I will become bankrupt, I have to feed my children… don’t do this to me. And so on it went for several hours.

The pookaaramma, Janaki paati; her son and daughter-in-law her thrown her out of the house and she made a living by going from home to home selling flowers. My mother was a regular; Janaki paati only had to drop by at our place every evening at five and leave the flowers on the gate. Unless we needed something extra or special, in which case I would be made to hang around the gate, waiting for her. She is one person I do not remember making any sound, she was seen, not heard - which is possibly why I remember her name and face till now.

She was the last vendor of the day; commerce for the day was considered officially closed after she left. And then all we had to do was to wait for the next morning, with its reassuring round of selling and buying to begin all over again. I do not see any of them now, not in Madras, not in Bombay - a few vegetable vendors perhaps but mostly stationed on street corners. Not the jodi-peyi man, not tender vegetable sellers. Not even Joy ice-cream.

A setback

charukesi May 29th, 2007

After waiting and watching the pain for a few days, I finally went to the ortho last night. One of the discs in the cervical spine that has been operated upon is in stress again; a nerve pinch and therefore the agony. It takes me back seven years… the same medication, the Vitamin E, the bedrest… the pain and the despair. This time, my right side has been affected; I never recommend surgery - the patient comes back with the same problem after a few years, said this ortho. Good for you, doc.

After all this… and this, I seem to be back at where it all started. I want to throw my hands up (ouch!) and take a deep breath and say - give me a break. I am going to be off the computer for a few days, for as long as it takes for this spell to subside. Wish me well.

Mood of the moment

charukesi March 13th, 2007

garfield

Flight to Cochin

charukesi March 4th, 2007

So here I am, day 3 at the aryavaidyasala. My husband just left or Bombay a couple of hours ago. I watched him get into the cab that was to take him to the airport and all I wanted to do was bawl. Waaaah, don’t leave me here. I want to come home with you. I hate school… Instead I smiled and waved out to him.

My treatment has started today, a day or two later than I had hoped it would. Friday afternoon - by 2 was when we expected to reach this place. Instead, what hapened was - fog in Delhi - and so we reached this place at 7.30 p.m. when all was shut for the day. Why were we called and told early Friday morning that our flight that was supposed to take off at 11 a.m. was now scheduled for 12.30 p.m.? Fog in Delhi. And then 12.30 became 12.55 p.m. by the time we reached the airport - delayed due to traffic near Sion, thanks to fog in Delhi. At 1, the time changed to 2.45 p.m. and Indian Airlines kindly took us all over to the Orchid for lunch. Why was the paneer at lunch not as soft as it should have been? Fog in Delhi. And why did the board, at 2.45 p.m. still say 2.45 p.m. depature when none of the Cochin passengers were even allowed in for security check? Fog in Delhi? Oh, that was in the morning, the flight from Delhi has landed and we will take off for Cochin in the next half hour.

So we cross security and walk towards the ground floor and see this highly ambiguous sign flashing. IC 165 operating Mumbai / Calicut. Uh? As it happens, Indian Airlines had decided to divert our Cochin flight to Calicut - after making us wait for 4 hours - and then slipped it to us sneakily without any actual announcements. And from Calicut? Oh, don’t worry. We have arranged for surface transportation. i.e. a bus to take you on a four and half hour road jouney over bad hill roads.

And why? because of some story about crew waiting in Calicut and something else about the crew onboard the flight since morning. So passengers get off at Calicut. And gussa kyun kar rahe hain - Cochin toh aapko pahuncha rahe hain na hum? (we are making sure you reach Cochin, then why the anger?)

For the first time, I saw a random crowd of passengers mobilise themselves into a group to protest. Either the flight goes to Cochin or we don’t board the plane. IC first sent “ladies” (mananger) to deal with the angry crowd. Madam, aap ladies hain, is liye izzat se baat kar rahe hain. When ladies’ charm did not work, IC sent a heavyweight toughie to negotiate. And finally, after much discussion and shouting and bargaining, the flight took off at 4.15 p.m. on a compromise solution - Mumbai - Calicut and then Cochin.

During such community bargaining events, it is interesting to see the way people neatly place themselves into categories for our ease of observation. There are the leaders; the one calm guy with the legal mind, and perhaps experience, taking charge of the discussion, a few others giving him support. There are then the supporters, with no strong point of view of their own but in general agreement with what seems to be the flavor of the moment. Harmless mostly. There are the clueless, with a complete bewlidered Dhritrarashtra, yeh kya ho raha hai bhai? look on their face… The nice thing is to see their faces brighten when someone does tell them what is happening - and they come up with accha, yeh flight Calicut jaa raha hai? Phir Cochin flight kab niklegi? or some such highly relevant question to which no one has the answer.

The most interesting - my personal favorites - are the hecklers - those who stroll into the centre of the group all of a sudden, their tea break over and start shouting basis the last word they hear - some sort of antakshari for the harassed air passenger. Calicut? one of them thundered into the face of the ladies’ - You go to Calicut. We will go to Cochin. Vamsi and I placed ourselves firmly in this group - and as heated argument, bordering on fist fight went on one one side, quiety set about forming our own coterie on the other. Our demand was simple - we want to go to Trivandrum, we will not get into this flight bound for Calicut.

On Sachin and Silsila

charukesi February 6th, 2007

The net is such a wonderful place to find entertainment. Some unintended.

As this report today, on the home page of rediff - which only seems to get better and better with each pasing day - Sachin meets his lookalike

the pic - the effort of reproducing that photograph here is too much for me at this late hour - but go see the pic and judge for yourself. reading from left to right - embarrased and where-can-I-hide-now Sachin Tendulkar, plump and pleased as punch boy, plump and drunk-on-punch-pleased mother

the report - After the brief introduction Sachin asked Aakash what kind of sports he plays? Akaash said he plays soccer, basketball and tennis. Sachin was impressed and said good.

the comments - at last look, there were 131 comments - most of them much more insightful and interesting than anything rediff (or most such portals, including those of news channels) serve anyway as news. Among them, Next, we’ll have a snap of a lady who thinks her daughter looks like Salman Khan! and I am still confused whether the lady looks like sachin or the kid looks like sachin or sachin looks like the kid. Also from somone who hs cracked the resemblence - Yes, Rediff you are right. He is Sachin look alike… He has 2 eyes, 1 nose, lips, 2 ears, black hair and yes, teeth too…

***
And then this truly funny gem from Baradwaj Rangan’s review of Traffic Signal on the character Silsila played by whashsisname…

…threatens to blossom between Rani and Silsila – yes, that’s the name of the “manager” played by Kunal Khemu, because he was born the year Yash Chopra’s ode to infidelity was released; I guess he’s thanking his stars he wasn’t born in 1988, the year of Paap Ko Jalaa Kar Raakh Kar Doonga.

Sue simple

charukesi January 3rd, 2007

I was looking yesterday at the bottle of peanut butter at home - and the label says in big bold letters at the bottom - warning : contains peanuts. And goes on in a sombre tone to warn of peanut allergy. Fancy that! Who would imagine peanut butter containing peanuts. heh!

Then I remembered the day I was leaving Dubai (yeah yeah, I went on a holiday to Dubai on some free tickets Indian Airlines sent my way - there, go eat your heart out), I asked my friend about the possibility of finding liquer chocolates at the dutyfree at the airport. Chances are dim, he said, they wouldn’t stock liquer chocolates at the Dubai airport.

And why, please? Because local people might mistake them for ordinary chocolates and eat them. And liquor is forbidden them. As I gaped at him, he shook his head wisely and wore a look that said you don’t know how foolish people can be. (Surely enough, I did not find said chocolates at the duty-free but I have no idea why). I kept thinking of it and smiling at thought of people biting into a liquer chocolate and being suprised (and even offended?) to find it filled with liquer (as for me, I’d be offended to find no liquer inside - as you would too, I am sure).

Bill Bryson writes in notes from a big country on the how America is a sue-happy place - Americans, as, is well-known, will sue at the drop of a hat. In fact, I dare say, someone somewhere sued over a dropped hat and won $20 million for the pain and suffering it caused.

My personal favorite of course, is the famous McDonald’s hot coffee case. I was searching for details of it on the net and found various agitated voiced telling the reader about how frivolous the case had been made out to be, while in reality, the incident went far beyond an old woman not having been warned by McDonald’s that the hot cofee she had ordered and had paid for was actually hot. As I read on, I realized that it there was indeed more to the case than met the eye; the poor woman had just bought cup of hot coffee at a McDonald’s drive-through and was attempting to open the lid to add sugar to the coffee, placing the cup between her knees…

Between her knees, you see - in a moving car (defenders on the net say her grandson had stopped the car) - and the hot coffee fell on her legs, burning the flesh - and McDonald’s paid for it. Applying the principles of comparative negligence, the jury found that McDonald’s was 80% responsible for the incident and Liebeck was 20% at fault. Though there was a warning on the coffee cup, the jury decided that the warning was neither large enough nor sufficient. They awarded Liebeck US$200,000 in compensatory damages, which was then reduced by 20% to $160,000. In addition, they awarded her $2.7 million in punitive damages. Additionally, I am guessing, McDonald’s increased the size and sterness of the warning on the cup.

You go read all about it here, while I go find a lawyer who will help me sue the peanut butter company. Their label contained no warning : contains butter and it so happens, I am highly allergic to butter. Tra la!

Life at google

charukesi December 20th, 2006

Is it only me or has anyone else noticed that that lives of those good folks at google seems to rock - with bbq and sushi parties and without any spam. *Sighhhhhs and deletes with great regret kind offers of enhancement of coffers with Nigerian currency of remarkable amounts and of private parts with pills that start with v and then go on in various permutations of alphabets *

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Mein hoon dawn

charukesi October 21st, 2006

Kahan se aaya… mein hoon dawn

new beginnings new hope...

From Superstar Libra this morning… Watch this space closely and patiently for more photographs and detailed posts… In the meanwhile have a wonderful and safe Deepavali.

For those on a diet…

charukesi October 10th, 2006

Karwa Chauth - it’s all about life on the fast lane

This one is for you, Harini

And this, for you, other pious readers.

Nuggets from these self-same essays - In the olden days, a woman was dependent on a man. Whether he was her father, brother, husband or Guru. Without a man she was considered incomplete. Today that may not be the case. But it is still refreshing to see a loving wife or a loving husband. Indeed.

And then - The fast is a rigorous one as the wife does not even drink water on this day. In the evening, all married women, dressed in gorgeous wedding garments and jewelery, undertake worship. As the moon rises, they bow down at the feet of their husbands and give the decorated plate with fruit and other material to their mother in law. This festival deepens the relation between the wife, the husband and the mother in law.

Thinking back on an anniversary

charukesi October 9th, 2006

Warning : Long public rant about painful private memories…

October 5th was an anniversary. Not a happy anniversary as such - four years of my spine surgery. I first discovered that I had a spondilytis problem in early 2000. X-rays, diagnosis and pain-killers followed. And physiotherapy could have got me back on my feet. I left my job in Bangalore and went back to Chennai. Back home. The first session in Chennai went off fine. The second day, the physiotherapist instructed his assistant in an off-hand manner and vanished. The assistant placed high voltage electro-vibration pads on my shoulders and above the chest, just as he had done with the back. And vanished. The neck and shoulders and chest are much more sensitive than the broad expanse of the back - as I soon discovered. And I started having mild convulsions right there on the physiotherapy table. And by the time the assistant returned to put me out of my misery, I had developed spasms all over the upper part of my body…

More treatment, more bed-rest, more pain-killers… All that resulted in was a screwed up digestive system and an overall depressed me. That was the time I had first got admission into LSE for my Master’s course. And I had to let go of that… I got a deferment for the next year. And tried to get back on my feet. I kept fighting, I kept pretending that nothing was wrong… I gave up on “conventional” medicine and turned to alternative therapy. “Relief” was when I had short spells of painlessness… And I was already getting tired of it all.

Maybe I had convinced myself that all was well, maybe all was truly well for a brief while, I got married, went to LSE, travelled around the UK, slogged at school through the week and partied on week-ends. And kept ignoring all the warning signals that my back was sending me. I came back to India for field-work for my dissertation, wrote up the dissertation and sent it to the school. That was August 2002. And I was getting steadily worse. More doctors, more medication and treatment. I met doctors who were so busy making money that they had often two patients in the same room at the same time… and doctors who were so insensitive that they told me that I was imagigning my pain since they could not find anything obviously wrong with me… And this was a statement I was to come across again and again for years after that… I had to get on with life, I had to keep pushing myself.

And finally in the last week of September, I collapsed. And found that I had a disc prolapse at two levels on my cervical spine. That was when we got to know about this “world-famous” spine surgeon. He hd a look ay my MRI film, not at me, and pronounced that I had to be operated on immediately or face the prospect of being paralysed sometime soon… I recently asked my mother - last week, to be precise - what were we all thinking? why did we agree to the surgery then…? Clearly, none of us was thinking right then, or thinking at all. Three days later, I was operated on, two shiny bright titanium cages placed in my neck, bracing a tiny bone graft taken from my hip.

And I was sent home two days later, in an new improved version, according to the surgeon… “Don’t ask me these silly questions“, he told me… “I have performed thousands of complicated operations, this is a minor one for me“…

Not me doc, I wanted to tell him. Not for me this is a minor thing… But I did not say it… I had started getting into the resentful silent phase right then, even without realizing. Exactly how minor it was, I came to realize when my cousin’s husband, himself an ortho surgeon, spoke to my mother just after I had come out of surgery, and asked her - can she speak? My mother had no idea since she only saw my throat full of tubes - he persisted, ask her to say something… My surgeon had cut from the front of the neck, a place where the vocal chords and the food pipe and the wind pipe pass, and my cousin was afraid I could have lost my voice… He had seen patients so affected, who had to go through voice training for years after that. My surgeon did not just not mention these risks, but he actually dismissed all our concerns as silly questions…

I remember my mother’s face as I was wheeled into surgery, she the only one in my family who had any idea of what a spine surgery entailed. I rememember my new husband’s face then, as cheerful as I was trying to be, and as optimistic as I was. I now think back and wonder how we were so naive then… I remember the anaesthetist asking me count to ten, and conking off just after three. Strangely, I even remember feeling a sensation of a sharp blade against my hip some time for a second in between, no pain, just a sensation. And I remember coming to, five hours later in the post-op recovery room, the nurses fussing over me, and saying, such a young age… And I remember the anaesthetist barking at me, smiling at the same time, cut off these nails, you scratched my hands fully… I remember my father smiling at me and telling me that I had got the results of my course - I was now officially a graduate student from the LSE…

But I remember seeing my surgeon only once after that…

I had exactly two rounds of follow up with his team - not him since he had gone abroad soon after my surgery, for some important conference, no doubt. And I had no prescribed physiotherapy sessions, no recommended exercises but the most basic, no counselling, no answers to any of my or my family’s questions. I had a lot of “now it is over, you are perfectly okay”s thrown at me from the superbly skilled team of assistants. I spent the most terrible three months of my life after the surgery, trying to come to terms with the way my body had changed for life. I had toubleffalling asleep, I would stay wake through the night, drifting off only to wake up suddenly with nightmares. And trying to accept ther fact that the pain had not vanished completely as I had been given to expect.. Doctors told me that this was just post-op discomfort or “irritation” which would go away with time.

All through this, right from the first time I was diagnosed with spondilytis, I kept experiencing terrible pain in my upper back, near the shoulder blade. A tender spot that would make me unconscious if pressed too hard. Shoulders that were rock-hard and spasms that went up and down the spine and neck like electric shocks. I had mentioned this to my surgeon just before the operation, and to all the doctors I had met. And nobody took it seriously. Pain that was debilitating, that sometimes made it unable for me to get up from bed and move, pain that left me feeling exhausted and depressed all the time.

Pain that doctors could not understand since that did not show up on x-rays. I was meeting one doctor after the other, from all kinds of medical systems. I was tired of living with the pain. I was tired of being told that there was nothing wrong with me and that all I had to do was to stop imagininhg pain and gwt on with life. I was tired of answering questions from everyone. Above all, I was tired of this lonely, long battle with pain that seemed to not have an end… I had developed such a deep mistrust and dislike for doctors that I refused to see one even as I realized that I was getting progressively worse. Till one fainting spell last month left us with no choice but to go back to a doctor we knew and trusted, a family friend. Who also happens to be the brother of the surgeon who operated on me. So my husband and I went to Delhi last month to meet him.

H is everything his brother is not. Warm and sensitive, and with a willingness to listen. He asked me to give him a week with a physiotherapist he recommended. G is an efficient, white-haired, cotton-saried lady with a sharp tongue and a kind heart. I stayed on in Delhi for two weeks and went through the exercise and treatment sessions every evening. For the first time, between them, they gave me hope. And for the first time, someone had found out what the problem was. And how it could be helped. The surgery, while taking care of the disc prolapse, had on the other hand, added stress to an already weak region. Combined with lack of right physiotherapy for that, the pain had built up over the years. I used the word “myopic” while describing some of the doctors I had met, and found my physiotherapist nodding vigorously in agreement. Myopic, that is just the right word, she kept repeating…

I came back to Bombay and have been back at the lonely battle, trying not to give in to the pain, and telling myself that this would take time. Another friend of ours who has moved to Bombay recently, a very young orthopaedic surgeon himself, came over to our place this week-end. He says, I am not surprised no one was able to figure out your problem… this is diagnosed with clinical judgment and not through x-rays. He had recently researched it for a patient who had complained of such pain for many years, and not found relief with anything at all. He has further prescribed a course of vitamins and such to supplement the exercise and believes that this can be managed… He advised me to research it on the net, and last night, I found myself reading a page which seemed like a description on my own story - among other things, “Because the symptoms of —- are very much like many other diseases, diagnosis can be difficult. Currently, no laboratory tests can diagnosis the illness. Diagnosis is based on taking careful history and finding tender areas in specific areas of muscle“.

***
Among many warm things that friends have said and done for me, Blogpourri had advised me to write about this. As a way of letting steam, perhaps. But I was not ready to write about it. Telling this in public would mean putting this behind me, and I was not willing to do that. In some way, the anger, while not doing me any good, I am sure, also kept me going. Kept me to the fight… Surprisingly (to me), October 5th came and went, and I did not think about it; I am writing about it now after hearing and reading what I have recently. Perhaps, this will help me put it behind me. And move on…

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