Archive for the '- Gender issues' Category

On being a woman and a daughter…

charukesi June 8th, 2005

A couple of random thoughts - in my mind, they are loosely filed under ‘culture’ and the kind of social discourse and attitudes it can foster..

One is on the rape-marriage incident that Uma has written about. There is a thought-provoking discussion going on around this topic on her blog - one observer has asked, then what is the ‘way out’ for the woman and her child? And I had responded to this comment saying that seeing marriage as a way ‘out’ for this woman or her child is naively believing in the lived-happily-ever-after story… just look at this picture and try to imagine their future together as husband and wife. To protect and cherish. And rape till we die?

marriage

My point was about the association of the word ‘honour‘ in relation to rape. First you ‘destroy’ her honour and then ‘redeem’ her honour - does any other culture have this connotation? Movie after hindi movie has had the hero’s sister who’s izzat has been looted by the villian. (There is an even stranger word in Tamil - karpu - roughly meaning chastity - this nebulous but ultra essential ingredient for a ‘good’ woman - but rape is karpazhippu - destruction of chastity)

The only izzat / honour I can associate in my mind with rape is self-respect - that to me is the only real ‘honour’ to get shattered in a rape victim…

——————————————

And the second thought occured to me while watching FRIENDS (come on, admit it, how many of you ever have profound ideas while watching FRIENDS) - Monica tells her brother Ross, but they (their parents) don’t love me as much as they love you. And Ross takes off on how he was a medical miracle - since he was born years after his parents were married, when they had given up all hope for a child… And then Monica followed… Simple explanation…

In India, what different connotations would this have? A daughter feeling unloved, or not loved or cherished as much as the son… Why do we let this happen?

On the gender gap

charukesi May 25th, 2005

Read Abinandan here on the gender gap, with links from Ramnath on Amartya Sen’s views on the missing women

In the same post, Abi also links to another interesting article Do women shy away from competition ?

Incidentally, Grant McCracken has a post in his blog (which to my delight sits at the intersection of anthropology and economics) titled ‘has business and branding been feminized?’

And he categorically states, Here’s the simple anthropological truth of the matter. None of the higher intellectual or creative abilities is gender specific.

We laugh disdainfully (and slightly self-consciously) at zodiac sign archetypes but find it easy to accept gender pigeonholing?

Laddu means boy, barfi means girl

charukesi May 4th, 2005

Cyberbrahma has a very interesting post on the missing girls - a new take on gender imbalance - too many ‘brides wanted’ - too few available!

I had written long ago about a novel method devised by unscrupulous doctors in the rural north to circumvent the banned prenatal diagnostic test - I was reading that and have posted it here

Laddu means boy, barfi means girl…… let’s meet on Monday means rejoice, you are carrying a son, oh blessed mother; come back on Friday means, you are carrying a daughter, come back for an abortion….

The Government, concerned with the declining sex ratio in our country has banned the test in a bid to control female infanticide….. And ruthless doctors and desperate parents have resorted to other means to determine whether the foetus is even worth keeping or not…..

Keep that aside for a minute and read this. Girls being sold into prostitution by their own fathers, with their brothers fetching beer for the ‘customers’ and their home serving as the brothel…..

Harsh as this may sound, think about this : is it better for an unborn female foetus to be slain than for the baby to come into the earth and live unwanted and oppressed all her life…… if this sounds dramatic, stop and think about it….

Born into poverty, declined the right to education, forced into surrogate motherhood nurturing her siblings….. denied the very concept of childhood, the girl grows up…. To face gender violence, sexual abuse, harassment in the name of dowry, dependence on others until death…..

The ‘son’ complex is rooted so deeply in the Indian psyche that it is scary…. From the days of the Ramayana, we see that King Dasharatha prayed not for offspring, but for a male heir…. To take over the reins of his kingdom and find a place in heaven after death. For it was and is still believed that he whose last rites are not performed by the male heir is cursed and his soul never finds peace.

This quasi-religious aspect apart, parents are desperate for a male child because they believe the son will live with them all their life and support him in their old age. The daughter is always treated as paraya dhan and is conditioned to look for the day when she leaves the house, fully trained in domestic skills and carrying her stree-dhan, the price paid for her marriage. What started as a sensible idea of ensuring that the daughter gets a share in her father’s wealth has today transformed into dahej, the dreaded D word.

And this desire for a son, and regret in a daughter is further fanned by consumer advertising. If only our ad gurus could invent a cream that would turn a beti into a beta! But since they can’t play God, they do the next best thing. They invent a cream that promises to transform an ugly duckling into a fair daughter capable of earning as well as the son, if not more!

Understandably, the birth of a daughter is not an occasion for joy, given that the baby is allowed to come into the world. Till something is done to address the other greater issues at a societal level, the horror of female infanticide cannot be tackled so easily….

Wham bam, marry you, ma’m?

charukesi May 4th, 2005

Girl rejects rapist’s marriage offer. the 22 year old nurse who was raped by a ward boy has refused his offer of marriage - she only wants to see him hang. Not only did the man rape her, he also gauged out her eyes before the act… surely the foundation stone for a happy peaceful mariage…

In his application, Bhura pleaded the court to take a lenient view as he is now a reformed man and said since no one would marry the victim, he was willing to marry her. Now rapist turns benefactor…

Marrying off the victim to the rapist is such a cruel idea - what does this solve - apart from legally giving him the right to rape her evey night if he so chooses.

We don’t think of doing this with other crimes - for instance giving away to the thief whatever he has stolen…? Then what kind of justice is this?

Blank Noise Project

charukesi May 2nd, 2005

Jasmeen has some thought-provoking posts on her blog on street harassment - Blank Noise Project…. particularly startling is this mind-map created by an all girl group of 60 between the ages of 17-23 on ‘public space’. The single overwhelming feeling seems to be violation - in different forms and of varying intensity… discomfort, stare, anxiety, aggression, vulnerability, fear, groping, feeling sick

A must-read blog (thanks Harneet for the link)

Afterthought : reading responses to Jasmeen’s project, I realise that this - street harassment - is not a phenomenon in any way unique to India - there are voices of women from all over the world on how they feel on the streets - on ‘normal’ clothes - there has always been a rather simplistic explanation for sexual violence in a country like India - repression - but how does one explain such - deviant sexual - behaviour in otherwise ‘open’ countries - where sexual mores are much more ‘progressive’ (for lack of a better word for now) - where there is unlimited opportunity for interaction between the sexes from an early age - where there is no concept of ‘western clothes’ - or equating jeans or a skirt with modernity / vulgarity - as in India?

Asking to be raped?

charukesi April 27th, 2005

The Shiv Sena outdoes itself this time… In an article in Saamna (the party propaganda newspapaer), the Sena presents a thoroughly objectionable explanation for inducement of rape - women wearing revealing clothes - in other words, women asking to be raped…

And what is their basis for saying this - the police chowky where the rape happened was found to be covered with pictures of semi nude women… So any man commits rape and points to the woman, accusing her of enticing him by wearing revealing clothes - in fact, if this bit about picture found inside the chowky is to be taken seriously, it is not even necessary for the victim to have been wearing such clothes - it is enough that any woman does.

The woman is not the victim but the accomplice? The article wondered who is to be blamed if a youth misbehaves with an innocent girl - the youth or the society at large. (Incidentally, I am waiting for the Maharasthtra Government to come out with a statement vindicating their decision to close down dance bars all over the state)

What was this girl’s fault? That she went to Marine Drive? in the middle of the day? with two boys for company? Right, enough to lure any strong willed policeman with morals into rape…

More imporantly, rape is less about lust or even sex than about power (teach her a lesson) and hatred (teach her community / family a lesson) and other strong negative emotions - such an act is the sign of an otherwise deranged mind - the Times of India which had carried the Sena article on its first page yesterday, also carries a small piece on the third page (no, not page 3) about a twenty year old man who raped a two year old girl. Yes, two years old… And what was this girl’s fault? In this case, the victim cannot even be considered a sex object - she is merely an object…

Incidentally, the TOI editorial today carries a strong comeback to the Sena’s argument - about women being denied their basic constututional freedom of choice. Oh my god, please, this is not about markets and modernity as the title says - not about clothes - but about our society’s attitude towards women and sexuality in general… the greater need is not for women to cover up, but for building sensitivity around such incidents - where they cannot be prevented, there is aleast a need for society to look at the victim with a sympathetic eye - sensitivity among the law makers, the ‘protectors’ - better support systems -helping her pick up the pieces and move on with her life… however, always keeping in mind her feelings and needs…

Read also The Hindu on Moral Police Not Moral Policing

Gender (in)equations

charukesi April 4th, 2005

Just finished reading The Female Eunuch - at first read, the book sure packs a punch - ‘full of bile and insight’ says a review on the blurb - and the bile kind of spills over from the pages on to your hands…

It must have made tremendous sense for the time in which it was written - but I could not fully comprehend the resentment and anger behind some of the sentiments expressed by Greer…

I am not saying that gender equations have changed dramatically in the last few decades making this set of essays completely irerelevant - just that somehow, today, the bra-burning, man-bashing kind of feminism seems so misplaced…

While on this, have been seeing lots of media bytes recently on the ‘women - different?’ theme - brain composition, career issues, the works… In her blog, Rashmi Bansal has reproduced the piece she has recently written for BusinessWorld - MBA Women

And in the same issue of BusinessWorld, Mahesh Murthy in his regular column ‘on the contrary’ writes about ‘the era of disposable jobs - a rant about young people not taking their careers (and corporate responsibilities) seriously… He writes (emphasis mine), they are all typically SEC A. Typically from well-off families where the parents worked hard to get these kids where they are. And a large number of them, sadly, seem to be female

Uh? This because one young SEC A type (what exactly is SEC A type - in eight years in market research, I have not been able to figure this out) female rejected his job offer and did not bother to inform him of her decision, suddenly their emerges a ‘typical’ group - comprising typically females…?

And what does this say about the other thousands of young women who do take their careers seriously and do not live off their parents’ money ?

Which is essentially what the Business World cover story points out - that women have to work doubly hard and more to get to the top - and still put up with nay sayers on her way… Seems to me things have not changed much since Greer’s times….?

On domestic violence

charukesi September 11th, 2004

Today’s discovery is vichaar.org : thought-provoking insights on India (although I must admit that I found it strange that the writer rather than the reader thought so - but then to each his own). With categories politics, terrorism, economy, security, IndoPak relations and more - this is sure one interesting blog. (A blog discovery a day - is just too much to hope for… Once every so often keeps me happy).

Some shocking revelations on - Domestic violence *increases* with education (link thru womensenew.org). Discussing a study on domestic violence in India (among other countries), the article says that the study found a woman’s risk of being beaten, kicked or hit rose along with her level of education. This finding is accompanied by an intelligent warning not to use this data to push aside any existing thrust on women’s education in India. More disturbing facts and figures are quoted in the report.

….. researchers found that the highest rates of sexual violence were among highly educated men. Thirty-two percent of men with zero years of education and 42 percent men with one-to-five years of education reported sexual violence. Among men with six-to-10 years of education–as well as those with high-school education and higher–this figure increased to 57 percent. (I assume this finding means that the women reported on their men and not that the men themselves admitted to sexual violence).

A similar pattern was seen when the problem was analyzed according to income and socioeconomic standing. Those at the lowest rungs of the socio-economic ladder–migrant labor, cobblers, carpenters, and barbers–showed a sexual violence rate of 35 percent. The rate almost doubled to 61 percent among the highest income groups.

Researchers have not determined why men with higher incomes and educations are more likely to be violent towards women.

Trying to shake off the feeling of horror that clings to me, I am trying to think about this. Studies across the world, including in countries like the US have shown similar trends.

Does it intuitively make sense to you that men tend to get more violent / abusive towards their wives as their education / income level increases? Of course, it could be possible - the man’s need to be “the man of the house” and to “show the woman her place” might increase as his own self image gets more and more enhanced. But it not an explanation I am entirely comfortable with.

Could it possibly be that the incidence of reported violence / abuse increases as the woman’s education level increases (assuming more educated men marry correspondingly more educated women, as a rule) or among higher income / high socioeconomic classes?

What I mean is : it might not be necessarily more violence itslef but more likelihood and incidence of violence being reported and documented.

Turning cause-effect relationship on its head.
(Not to undermine the trauma of such victims in any way, but just to suggest that research findings need not and must not always been taken at face value. When there is no obvious explanation, look at it from other angles - which most but the best researchers fail to do)

And if this is true, then there is a stronger need for such social monitoring, for sensitivity among the law makers and the ‘protectors’, and better support systems for victims - to enable them to come out of this hell and report it - and then pick up pieces of their lives and move on.

For however educated the woman is, whatever her income and social status, she is reluctant to come out and report such violence - especially sexual violence. Apart from concerns about societal pressures and the future of her children, there is a much deeper barrier holding her back - of battered self respect.

The Indian Government’s Domestic Violence Bill was panned for its entirely subjective and insensitive understanding of the issue . For instance, I quote, the Bill defines domestic violence as conduct whereby the abuser ‘habitually assaults’ the person aggrieved or makes her life ‘miserable’ by his conduct. Why does the assault need to be ‘habitual’ for it to amount to domestic violence? What does one mean by making the life of a person ‘miserable’? Lobbyists have raised enough stink to get the bill reconsidered by the parliamentary working committee - but so far, nothing seems to have come out of it…..

Life and Times of Bharat Mata

charukesi September 7th, 2004

For a nation with one of the lowest sex ratios in the world, we have managed to deify woman qiute successfully.

Traditionally, the ‘feminine’ has been the nurturer, fertile and life-giving. She is the earth form, denoting denotes life and energy. All gods in the Indian pantheon have a female countepart goddess (except the confirmed bachelors, of course) and no Indian ceremony is complete without the presence of the woman of the household. In fact, Indian culture has given women the highest status of ardhangini - the other half - without whom no man is complete.

Yet, the woman in India remains an object - to be deified or defiled depending entirely on the curent mood of the country. With Navratri around the corner, I want to think about the idea of the woman as object - a concept by no means unique to India, but worth thinking about in any case. For few other countries have so easily and fully linked womanhood with the key ideas that drive popular thought and discourse - religion and nationalism.

In Life and Times of Bharat Mata, discusses the icon of Bharat Mata and traces its path and changes through recent Indian history. Quoting, there has always been a celebration of the nation’s female body - and of her citizens’ male gaze - beneath the seeming veneration is the need for possession and dominance.

Posted by Hello M.F.Husain for ToI’s special issue for the fiftieth year of Indian independence (ridden with symbols of prosperity, veneration, religion - the feminine form is free-flowing yet trapped within the physical boundaries of what represents ‘India’ on the map)

Martha C. Nussbaum discusses here the idea of woman as the nation, in an attempt to understand and explain (if that is ever possible) the sexual tortures inflicted on women (who suffered most in the carnage) during the Gujarat pogrom, and even before, during the partition. This widespread image of the female body as the nation helps to explain why, during the waves of communal violence at the time of independence, possession of women was such an important issue to the contending sides…

——————————————————
(More on this later, maybe)

Which is Witch, asks The Week

charukesi October 28th, 2003

The whole world and it’s little ones are lapping up Harry Potter’s exploits and discovering the charm (no pun intended) of magic and witchcraft and wizardry. In India, it is business as usual for the witch-hunters.

The recent issue of The Week carries a story of gruesome incidents in Chattisgarh involving women allegedly involved in black magic and sorcery. Witch-hunting, common in England and in Europe in the medieval times is still prevalent in most parts of India.

Just one instance. Three women from Lachkera village in Raipur were paraded naked and villagers put burning coal in their mouths in October 2001. This barbaric torture went on for six hours as ‘punishment’ for attempting to make the villagers ill.

Fully exploiting the ignorance and superstitious fears of people, witch hunting is initiated by the opinion leaders in such societies – typically the medical man (quack), or the village head.

And it could be anyone – usually women.

No trial. Only judgment. So much so that the term ‘witch-hunt’ has come to stand for “An investigation carried out ostensibly to uncover subversive activities but actually used to harass and undermine those with differing views”

« Prev