Comments on: Rambling about rituals

By: Sharmishtha

Sharmishtha — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 02:28:57 +0000

I think all religions are misogynist, in the sense that the custodians of the faith are exclusively male and all rituals are directed at preserving the gender hierarchy in favor of men. But the reason I still like Hindu rituals is because you can reject any of the rituals you don’t like without being cast out of the faith. That is, of course, if you have supportive family and friends, and most importantly, the law on your side. About specific rituals, change is also possible. For example, a friend of mine had a female Pandit presiding over her wedding. Wedding was attended by hundreds of friends and family and registered as perfectly legal. Also, the washing of the feet is probably a regional thing. E.g. in my community (Bengalis), the bride’s feet are also washed with milk and alta (red paint for the feet) upon entry into husband’s house, as she is considered Lakshmi making her entry into the husband’s home.

By: vidya

vidya — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 20:31:49 +0000

I think we need to distinguish between customs and rituals. Kashi Yatra, Oonjal , Nalangu and even Mangalyadharanam are social customs. Saptapadi and others done before the agni accompanied by mantras are the rituals.
-This includes where they place the nugatthadi and the bride is cleansed by chandra , agni and someone else.
-Cleansing the bride of various doshas
- The father in law washing the groom’s legs ( yes he is personified as Vishnu, pray tell me why the bride (child as she is was not personified as Lakshmi and her inlaws never washed her feet??)
- The oonjal tradition and also the tradition in some communities called filling the lap of the bride. Only married women and women with kids are allowed.
-Chanting mantras are the exclusive privelege of the male. The female is largely silent and stands mute by the side of the male. By female I also include the girl and boy’s mother (they weren’t children, were they??)

Also by misogyny is meant all of the following:

-That women are somehow are considered inferior
- That their existence in society revolves around the existence of a male in their life.Those without this status are somehow relegated to the background in essence this whole concept of “AUSPICIOUSNESS” is misogyny
- That their sole function in society and life was portrayed as being someone’s wife, someone’s daughter and praying that they end up as someone’s mother
- That they need to cleansed of various doshas whereas the groom stops with the vrata and worship.
- Further proof is the seemantham where all mantras wish explicitly for male progeny. If it is merely for the safe birth of a child why is it not performed for the subsequent births.Are they assumed to be easy just because the wo
- The belief that the firstborn male alone is capable of taking his ancestors to the heavens .

By: Patrix

Patrix — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 16:18:18 +0000

Wonderful post and does underscore my belief that most Hindu traditions have had some logical context in the past which over the years have blurred and been followed blindly. But perhaps, we do need an upgrade…Hindu wedding 2.0?

By: Mahendra

Mahendra — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 13:57:40 +0000

Beautiful post!

I had just commented on Ashok’s site about one thing I learnt about how one particular ritual’s origins were related to child marriages! (I won’t reproduce it here, you can read my comment at Ashok’s post). He directed me to your article and I’m grateful.

Yes, in fact, there are so many rituals and customs (not just about weddings) that actually have some rational basis in their origins, but have lost it in today’s modern context. Society blindly continues to cling to them, forgetting their whole purpose. I wish someone would write a compendium of all such meaningful insights. It will help the future generations!

By: Vinod Khare

Vinod Khare — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 09:24:38 +0000

A very good post. Some of this I myself have been thinking a lot of times. Even North Indian marriages have similar rituals. It was very good that you put these things into words.