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Schooled to be ideal wives

charukesi August 8th, 2005

What a perfect start a dreary Monday morning - this post from Uma where she says there is hope for her yet. Ho to the wide open spaces of Bhopal.

I had blogged about this a long time ago - here it is for your Monday morning amusement - I cannot find the original link on the Hindu where this article first appeared (August 31, 2003) - but this piece appeared on rediff around the same time… But his ideas are now gaining popularity outside Madhya Pradesh. He recently held a 10-day camp for youngsters in Ahmedabad and Junagadh in Gujarat and will soon visit Jaipur in Rajasthan.

Uma, let us not rush to pack our bags for Bhopal - just hang on there, and carry on being the imperfect bahu and biwi - there ought to be a camp in Bombay soon…

*****
Puzzle : why do all the K women fall under one of these two groups :

devi (goddess; she is patience personified, willing to give her all for her family, i.e her husband’s extended family of brothers, their wives, assorted uncles and aunts and their near and dear ones and…. you get the picture)….or,

dusht (wicked; the bad woman, who simpers all the time and wears saris with sleeveless blouses, elaborate bindis and dreadful eye make-up - the more garish the eye, the more wicked)

What we used to know as the goodies and the baddies……

Have wondered for long and fruitlessly about this….. have finally cracked it….

The first category of women viz. the devis have attended the “training school” outside Bhopal, set up to school young girls of marriageable age (have a look at typical descriptors here on this matrimonial site - they embrace a large range from ‘body type’ to ‘diet’ to ‘family values’, ) to be ‘ideal wives’, and by extension daughters-in-law.

The Hindu today (August 31, 2003) carries an article on this “institution” under the heading Trends…. I shudder to think, is this The Shape of Things to Come ??

It is, the article says, an institution set up to train women to surrender to the powerful in the family - the husband and the in-laws.

Read what one of the institution’s pupils has to say …..is teaching us how to keep our minds and bodies pure, our tempers in check. Right, the surefire way to a successful marriage.

The head of this institution (who, surprise, surprise is a man) has authored books on this topic – Grahasth Mein Vyavaharik Jeevan (Practical Married Life) for one. For the uninitiated, this book scatters many pearls of wisdom, such as too much sex is the cause of diabetes and tuberculosis among men .

Diabetes ??? AIDS maybe? but Diabetes ? The author goes on to declare, men build societies and women build homes…..

Or break them…. If the dusht types are allowed a free run of the household…. These woman have obviously not attended this institution….. and therefore, manage to get their way within their married home, winning everyone’s hearts and trust along the way…..

The author/head has other plans too…. Training ‘boys’ in this area….. (yeah, right…. Try telling ‘boys’ that too much sex is the cause of diabetes and TB…. I can see you are going to be very popular…..)

Moral of the story : head for Bhopal this winter (summers are unbearably hot there…. Or is the ideal woman supposed to ‘adjust’ to everything??) if :

- you are the wannabe devi type, who is willing to grin (and occasionally cry and challenge the baddie) and bear it, and
- you have the patience to wait for your reward –viz. having the entiiiiiiiire family fawning over you and calling you devi, and
- you don’t know where to start…..

Or, if you just wanna keep that eye make-up on and chill with your Bacardi and have everything but the last laugh (who cares, these ‘mega-serials’ go on for years anyways…..), stay on where you are…..

Now, where did I hear this was the age of instant gratification ?

10 Responses to “Schooled to be ideal wives”

  1. Sameeron 08 Aug 2005 at 16.14

    This story came in as an email forward early this morning. I ranted a lot in reply. Now I have no energy left to comment on this piece of idiocy!

  2. sunilon 08 Aug 2005 at 20.03

    :-)

    Morning humor. Almost as good as Calvin and Hobbes.

  3. […] Uma brings to light the school for to-be-brides in Bhopal, and Charukesi picks the thread up on the obsession of categorizing women as good and bad. […]

  4. Sourin Raoon 08 Aug 2005 at 20.50

    Charu
    Was there was something wrong with ur blog a week or so ago ? I tried to leave comments on ur survey, but couldnt get it to open.
    All this bahu crap from the Yashraj-Dharma junk that Bollywood keeps pandering to our ever-fawning junta. What else can be expected ?
    Sourin

  5. Adityaon 08 Aug 2005 at 21.17

    the link to uma’s blog in the first line is broken (typo).

  6. DesiPundit » Certified Ideal Wifeon 09 Aug 2005 at 00.24

    […] Arzan comments on the brand new vocation - an ideal wife.  Uma is down in the dumps feeling guilty for not being an ‘ideal wife’ and *gasp* even speaks out of turn. Tauba Tauba! The ‘institute’ preaches that  12am-3am: best time for sex, 3am-6am: best time for bhajan. What will a married couple do at the cusp of two distinctively different activities? Amit has a suggestion. The soon-to-be-Bride writes an open letter to Manju Sanskar Kendra admitting her follies and wishes to join the school in Kolkata. Charu finally realizes that all the ‘devis’ of India have attended the ‘training school’ outside Bhopal. [hat tip: Veena] […]

  7. Michael H.on 09 Aug 2005 at 07.51

    Hi Charu
    Hopefully, there won’t be a school for ideal husbands or else maybe my wife will send me there.

  8. charukesion 09 Aug 2005 at 13.32

    Sameer, when I first read it, I didn’t know whether to laugh or be seriously worried! decided to laugh since my rant was not going to achieve much.

    Sunil :))

    Sourin, my blog went through some “disruptive technology” processes last week - the wp version got upgraded! unfortunately, at a time when I had just posted my survey. it is back in action now - so please leave your thoughts there… and yes, saas-bahu sagas can never fail to rake in the moolah. or the trps.

    Aditya, have corrected it, thanks.

    Michael, I am sure there is no such thing as the ‘ieal husband’ - after all, men can go ahead and be as imperfect as they wish - what are their wives here for but to put up with that? :))

  9. harini calamuron 09 Aug 2005 at 23.20

    maybe we should make a TV programme on this.
    you do research. i produce. and we can syndicate it across the world :)

  10. charukesion 10 Aug 2005 at 09.19

    Harini. or. or we could start such a school ourselves. now we know the rules :)