charukesi May 7th, 2005
Coconut trees take offence and go on strike after this :
Bihari Babu: A child was born without a head in our state. We had a coconut fitted, and he grew up to become the railway minister.’’
Also taking “serious note” of this is the coconut man himself - Laloo. A case of the pot calling the kettle ‘coconut’?
charukesi May 2nd, 2005
The Bombay - Goa highway NH 17 is a beautiful route - I expect it is breathtaking during the monsoons - it goes over innumerable small (and some quaint) bridges with streams and (potentially) rivers flowing underneath them - and over miles and miles of ghat roads… and if nature all around you is not enough to keep you occupied and enertained through this long drive, there are the road signs - surely the work of a super creative mind - longing for expression - within the roadways department.
They range from the simple - SPEED IS KILLING NOT THRILLING - to the more complicated LIVE AND LEFT LIVE (???)
And then there are more morbid ones - THIS IS A HIGH-WAY, NOT A DIE-WAY (gulp, I hope so) - certainly the product of a frusrated and overworked government official…
The cheerfully promising - TODAY IS MY ‘NO ACCIDENT’ DAY - what about tomorow then?
The signs in Marathi are much more strict and sermonising in tone - MOH TAALA, NIYAM PAALA which I assume means - Oh sinner, resist the temptation - to speed/crash/kill whatever - and follow the rules…
This one has an air of finality about it - JHOPLA TO SAMPLA - loosely translating into - fall alseep, and you are finished. After which sign, I kept glancing nervously at my husband every thirty seconds and kept pumping him with coffee to make sure he stayed bright and awake at the wheel…
And there is also - SAFETY ON ROAD IS SAFE TEA AT HOME - tea or coffee or whatever it takes, just stay awake and get me home safe… and CONTROL YOUR NERVES ON THE CURVES
Inscrutable oriental philosophy too finds expression in these roads - SENSE OF LIFE IS THE ESSENCE OF LIVING. duh?
And these are only a few that I remember now… Take it from me - this is one journey that promises entertainment all through, especially if you are not at the wheel 
Can you think of any amusing road signs you have come across?
charukesi April 16th, 2005
When You look Like Your Passport Photo, It’s Time to Go Home. Says Erma Bombeck…
Sure, what is it about passport photos that bring out simply the worst and most lifeless in our faces?
After insisting that you comb your hair and powder (yes, I went through this in Madras yesterday - when I meekly protested, he glared at me in a manner as if to suggest - then don’t hold me responsible for the resullt…) your face, the well-meaning photographer then proceeds to help place your map in just the perfect position. Move your chin left madam, no, no, litttttle to the right. And then proceeds to jerk your neck violently in the said directions… By which time your well-combed hair has already started flying on your face. And you imagine the powder melting and trickling down your nose in rivulets… (which is exactly what the portrait will reveal finally)
And after hours of such guided directions (or what seems like hours), the final product always shows me looking somewhat desperately towards the celiling, head tilting to one side and my mouth set in a tight grimace as if I have somehow lost control of my facial motor muscles, or at worst, a smile which is sure to suggest to the viewer that I have had a few quick ones just before stepping into the studio…
Show me an individual with a passport photo he can be proud of - viz, one that he can show in mixed company without having children burst into sudden frightened sobs and adults falling off their chairs and hurting their heads / pulling their more delicate stomach muscles in the ensuing mirth - and I will show you an overachiever…
charukesi October 10th, 2004
Out of the mouths of babes…
(Mommy, what was he called before he was renamed Chhatrapati Shivaji?)
charukesi October 1st, 2004
The Economic Times on emerging isms of the new economy.
Priceless stuff…. Thanks, Anita for the link
My favourite from this:
RELIANCEism
You don’t yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.
Ouch! Mot justes as Wodehouse would say
I feel more than vindicated for all the months I spent without a phone…
Flashback : And as if things were not jolly enough, Reliance woke up last morning and decided that enough was enough - and promptly blocked my outgoing calls. The latest assault from Reliance in our ongoing battle for the bill…. (They want me pay it and I want them to send it first. Sounds fair?)
charukesi April 27th, 2004
Made my day
Govinda, Congress candidate on the BJP’s agenda
They have only two issues : Ram Janmabhoomi and Sonia Janmabhoomi
(Janmabhoomi = birthplace)
Is it any wonder I love Govinda ?!
charukesi March 2nd, 2004
Received this on email today. This presentation has a lot of cool clip-art pics and colours…. I wish I could reproduce them here but here is the content anyway…. Read on…..
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One upon a time there was a French rowing team.
France and Japan agreed to an annual rowing race. Each team containing eight men.
Both teams worked really hard to get into the best shape. The day the race started, both teams were in similar condition.
The Japanese won by one mile….
The mood in the French team was close to freeze point. The team decided to win the race the next year. So they established a team of analysts to observe the situation and recommend an appropriate solution.
After detailed analysis the team found out that Japanese had 7 rowers and only one captain.
Of course, the French team had seven captains but only one rower…..
Facing such a critical scenario, the management showed unexpected wisdom; they hired a consulting company to restructure the French team….
After several months the consultants came up with the conclusion that there were too many captains and too few rowers in the French team. A solution was proposed based on this analysis: the structure of the French team had to be changed!
As of today there will be only 4 captains in the team led by 2 managers, one top-manager and one rower, they said. Besides that, they made a suggestion to improve the rower’s working environment and to give him higher competencies….
The next year, the Japanese won by two miles…..
The French team immediately displaced the rower from the team based on his unsatisfactory performance.
But the bonus was paid to the management for the strong motivation the team showed during the preparation phase.
The consulting company prepared a new analysis, which showed that the strategy was good, the motivation was ok but the used tool had to be improved.
Currently, the French team is designing a new boat.
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A friend working in one of India’s largest software companies sent me this….. Any takes on that?!! And she is probably reading this too….
charukesi February 14th, 2004
In keeping with all the fluff and romance around me today, here’s a few good ones I got on email…… These are entries to a competition from Washington Post……
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Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe “Go To Hell”.
charukesi December 25th, 2003
Just couldn’t resist this one…..
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a
romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said “Hey baby, let’s play Weeweechu.”
“Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon” said Jung Lee.
“Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Huan Cho Begged.
“But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon.”
“Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me.”
Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, “OK, we play Weeweechu.”
Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang…..
“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”
So do I, people….. have a Merry Christmas and a Great New Year !
charukesi December 21st, 2003
He asked “Will you marry me?”
She replied “No“.
And they lived happily ever after.